Why I Want a Wedding Registry for All Occasions | Architectural Digest

Last year, I got into a heated discussion with a friend on Twitter about the concept of a wedding registry. Both Tauruses, we were outraged that there still weren’t millennial-targeted tools like Zola, Joy, and Honeyfund for those of us that weren’t getting married (or divorced), having babies, or earning a degree. In the sixth season of Sex and the City, there’s an iconic episode titled “A Woman’s Right to Shoes,” where Carrie Bradshaw famously bemoans, “If you are single after graduation, there isn’t one occasion when people celebrate you,” and then announces that she’s marrying herself and is registered at Manolo Blahnik. There are so many major life moments worth celebrating, from birthdays and anniversaries to career achievements and housewarmings, so why aren’t there shame-free gifting services for those events too?

According to Vox, the birth of registries falls somewhere between the 1900s and 1920s. (It should be noted that the whole spectacle of wedding gifts stems from the ancient tradition of a bride’s family paying a dowry.) Regardless, all credit goes to retail stores for capitalizing on an industry where there’s money to be made for all participating parties. Following World War II, there was a wedding registry boom as society became fixated on “ensuring that young couples—or, really, young women—had everything they needed to make a home.” As for unmarried women, they were allowed to have hope chests to store all of the essentials for their future marital bliss, such as china, crystals, silverware, and linens. So radical, right?

After taking the “single people registries” conversation offline, I was inspired to start curating my own “registry for all occasions,” so I created a Google Doc. Since then, I have been meticulously updating my list with miscellaneous items that are organized within 10 categories: decor, dining, kitchen, bites, beverages, bathroom, scents, bedroom, wellness, and books. Every product that I’ve selected would be an investment that serves a greater purpose in my home, from the Izabel Lam flatware and Tekla napkins to the Gaetano Pesce resin trays and coasters. Who wouldn’t want their pantry stocked with tins of Fishwife or their fridge overflowing with bottles of Lark?

As the holiday season approaches and gift guides begin circulating, this is especially top of mind for everyone. I’m not trying to put a financial burden on anyone within my support system when I send out this registry, but if someone was already planning on getting a gift for me, then wouldn’t it be more productive for them to pick something that I currently have on my list? It should be considered as one less thing for me to add to my cart!

For example, there’s nothing more wasteful than buying someone a candle that they’ll never actually use because you didn’t think to consult them about their preferred scent notes. Can you imagine making the huge mistake of giving someone a set of striped towels when they’ve been riding the checkerboard wave since the last time you came over? Wouldn’t be me! It’s not so much about telling your nearest and dearest exactly what to buy for you, but providing them with a guide that steers them in the right direction. (Not everyone has gifts as part of their love language, so some people really benefit from a few pointers.)

The price tag doesn’t matter, it’s the thought that counts—and, at the very least, this gives others a better idea of your consumer interests. Maybe someday I’ll make a product out of this brilliant idea in an effort to be the change that I want to see in the world, but for now it’s just something I’ll distribute amongst close friends and family until more progress is made in the retail market. (Another option that I recently learned about is MyRegistry which offers “a centralized registry for all gifting occasions.”) While I won’t be sharing the full document here, I’ll leave you with 10 items from my registry for all occasions.